20 things i have done/tried/experienced
for the first time ever, here in the r.i.m.

1. purchased a cell phone

2. rented a home

3. lived “where the streets have no names”

4. mastered the art of eating in a communal bowl with one hand

5. simultaneously thrown up and shat uncontrollably

6. regularly slept outside, under a star-filled sky

7. received a letter of apology from the manager of a brothel

8. sat on a toilet seat and caused it to crack (that was actually in senegal)

9. ate a camel pizza

10. ate the small intestine of a goat, as well as other unidentifiable organs

11. been called ‘monsieur’ on an almost-daily basis

12. felt overcome with emotion upon hearing a low-quality, synthesized version of Toto’s “Rains down in Africa” while riding in a taxi

13. been present for a coup d’etat

14. successfully propogated the concept of T.G.I.F. among highschoolers

15. learned hassaniya arabic

16. bucket bathed regularly, and washed my clothes by hand

17. watched moesha dubbed in French

18. ridden in a canoe alongside a swimming horse

19. received a baseball bat-sized sausage by mail from my parents

20. caused small children who had never before seen a white person to cry